“The world of love relationships can produce a lot of happiness if you learn to manage them.” – Juan Armando Corbin
Relationships are not always easy. Each member of the relationship has their way of understanding life and their own needs.
On many occasions, despite a great attraction, relationships break down and separation occurs. Sometimes it is the lack of communication, other times infidelity and other times the personality of each one that precipitates this situation of rupture.
However, the absence of conflict in the couple is a utopia, since problems can arise at any time in the relationship. That does not mean that our partner does not love us. In fact, the conflicts that may arise, if they are faced in a mature way, can make the relationship come out stronger. Understanding this is key for the bond that unites the couple to enjoy good health.
Living with the person we love on a daily basis and failing to properly resolve conflicts can trigger the erosion of the relationship. With the passage of time, in addition, monotony can eat away at the health of the couple.
Divorces are frequent nowadays, because together with these causes there are others such as, for example, unrealistic expectations about how the relationship should be or the commercialization of relationships. This way of thinking can make us believe that everything must be perfect when we are in a dating relationship or in a marriage, something that seriously affects the way we interact with our partner.
For example, according to the conclusions of a study carried out by «Business insider», Spain is one of the first countries in the world with the most divorces, with 61% of couple breakups. This study used data from different countries from 2001 to 2013. The results show the difficulty of maintaining health in a relationship.
How to Be Happy in a Relationship. 10 Tips to Achieve It
Despite this, being happy as a couple is possible, but there are a number of conditions that must be met for the members to enjoy a healthy relationship. It is important to be clear from the beginning that being happy all the time is not possible, the important thing is to work so that the couple works most of the time.
As mentioned above, it is not the conflicts themselves that break a relationship, but how we deal with them. Below you can find ten keys to be happy as a couple.
1. Don’t Forget to Take Care of the Relationship
At the beginning of the relationship, it is easy to show yourself as a detailed person, say compliments, do activities with your partner, etc. But as the relationship consolidates and the years go by, the frequency with which these gestures appear tends to decrease.
In extreme cases they even disappear. Don’t forget that your partner has needs and wants to feel loved. If you want the relationship to work, it is important to continue showing your affection and appreciate that she / he is by your side and that you are the one chosen to be part of her / his life.
2. Have a Realistic View of Your Relationship
Many people have developed an idyllic and utopian vision of what a relationship is, and sometimes they are not aware of how this affects their own relationship. Thinking that love is a paradise and that relationship must be perfect 24 hours a day and 365 days a year is not a realistic option.
Relationships go through ups and downs and being aware of this is key to being able to provide solutions and get out of these potholes. Unrealistic expectations create tension and make it difficult for members of a relationship to be happy as a couple.
3. Spend Time with Your Partner
If in this busy society, in which we can end up stressed just due to having a lot of work, it is already difficult to find ourselves and have a single moment of relaxation, it can be even more difficult to have time to be with your couple alone .
If it is not work, it is family occupations (such as having to watch out for children). To be happy as a couple it is necessary to organize time to have some time alone: without pets, without children, without interruptions. Spending intimate time with your partner is healthy for the relationship.
4. Spend Time with Yourself
But if spending time with your partner is important, it is also important to spend time with yourself, doing the activities that you like and meeting your own needs. There is nothing wrong with having motivations separate from those of your partner. This is also healthy for the smooth running of the relationship.
5. Be Honest
Sometimes it is difficult to be honest about some things for fear that your partner will not share them. The truth is that people value honesty, and being seen as a sincere person is much better than being called a liar. Lying causes confidence to be lost, and later it is very difficult to regain it.
6. Communicate to Be Happy in a Relationship
Communication is essential for the couple to be happy, as dialogue helps to create a life project together, enables difficult situations to be solved and discussions are constructive, and allows members of the couple to express their needs. For a relationship to work it is necessary to negotiate, compromise and reach agreements.
7. Respect the other Member of the Couple
It is impossible for a couple to function in a healthy way without respect and trust. Love is respecting and trusting the other person. So respect the other person’s opinion and needs, because relationships based on jealousy and disrespect are destined to fail.
8. Love from Freedom
And of course, treating the other person with respect means loving them with freedom and tolerance. It is not about imposing, but about dialogue and reaching agreements. Everyone wants to be treated with respect and freedom, and although there are people who put up with almost everything in a relationship because they are too dependent, when one of the two exercises power over the other, the relationship becomes toxic.
9. Keep your Balance
There may be things about your partner that you don’t like at all and there will surely be things about you that the other party will not like. Nobody is perfect. Doesn’t she hug you the same anymore? How about if you talk about it and, in addition, you also do your part to make these hugs happen.
Sometimes we waste a lot of time thinking about what we want instead of thinking about giving. If you ask for something, you must also offer. In relationships there must be balance, sometimes you will give and other times the other person.
10. Make your Partner your Best Friend
Lasting relationships are those that are based on free love and trust. Of course, attraction is important, but in successful relationships there is something more: there is a love that goes beyond physical attractiveness. Make your partner a great friend, with whom to share hobbies.
Ten Habits of Couples in Strong and Healthy Relationships
With the passage of time, monotony tends to settle in the life of a couple and little by little boredom can gain ground. But, although it is not an easy task, it is possible to be happy as a couple. The key is in the desire of both to remain united and to want to be really happy, establishing the relationship as an indisputable priority.
Said like that, it sounds simple, right? But how to achieve it? How to make the relationship our priority, having to take care of work, children, grandparents, the house, paying the bills and looking good with friends and family, among other things?
Psychiatrist and consultant Mark Goulston, author of How To Get and Maintain the Love You Deserve, says the key is identifying and cultivating the habits that promote happiness in your partner.
According to Goulston, «a habit is a behavior that you repeat automatically until it costs you little effort to maintain it.» Therefore, all couples can adopt them simply by dedicating a little time and interest to them. Although at the beginning it is done quickly, it will soon become something natural that will facilitate many other things.
«Tell your partner at least once a day, how great she is and what you love her» – H. Jackson Brown
Habits to be Happy as a Couple
There are some habits that «guarantee» or at least pave the way for a couple to be happy. These habits that can characterize happy couples are the following:
1. Go to Sleep at the Same Time
This, which is quite common at the beginning of life as a couple, tends to disappear over time. It is necessary to maintain this custom to keep the flame of desire burning.
2. Cultivate Common Interests
After the initial passion, many couples discover that they have little in common. For this reason it is necessary to find something to do together, something to get involved in. This does not mean that you have to do everything with your partner. It is enough to find something that interests both of you, while still having other interests of your own.
3. Walk Together Hand in Hand
It is a simple and common gesture at the beginning of a relationship, but with time it is lost. Have you noticed how cute it is to see two old people walking hand in hand? Do not let yourself be left behind because if you allow yourself, you lose the sense of company.
4. Trust and Forgive
Arguing is normal, but to be happy as a couple you have to know how to manage the conflicts that arise properly. If there is mutual trust and forgiveness is offered without grudges, it is much easier to manage these conflicts and keep the relationship alive and healthy.
5. Focus on the Positive
Focusing on the other’s positive qualities rather than their flaws is the key to staying in love. Nobody is perfect, but, «it all depends on what you want to look for.»
According to Goulston “our skin has a memory of“ good caresses ”(love),“ bad caresses ”(abuse) and“ no caresses ”(carelessness). Couples who greet each other with a hug keep their skin bathed in «good caresses.» You don’t need a reason to hug.
7. Say «I Love You»
Saying those two simple words, and accompanying them with a «have a nice day», every morning is a stimulus to start the day well. Plus, they help smooth out any rough edges that have arisen.
8. Say «Good Night»
With this simple wish, the couple reaffirms their relationship every night, despite the difficulties and emotional ups and downs of the day. This tells your partner that you still want to be in the relationship and what you both have is bigger than any disturbing incident.
9. Call or Text During the Day
It is a small gesture that implies something very important: that one person cares about the other. It is a routine call to know if everything is going well, or maybe just a message, but it allows us to stay connected and know in advance how the couple will be when we meet him at the end of the day.
10. Feel Proud to Show Yourself as a Couple
This is as simple as kissing, touching, or hugging in public and staying together. Gestures that show connection, complicity, and that also help to be happy as a couple.
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